assemblage

recharge the batteries

 

after a challenging couple of months

we snuck away for a little break,

sans children.

nothing like staying locally,

wandering the laneways,

dining at a fabulous restaurant,

buying fabric,

and gazing at an exhibition,

or two,

to recharge the batteries.

or so i thought.

collecting the car to drive home revealed a flat battery that turned into a blown main fuse involving an additional five hours of time stuck helplessly in a multilevel city carpark on the weekend with no tools or assistance and resulting in much unexpected expenditure of frustration and finances. sigh.

 

but on the topic of mother's day:

happy mother's day!

and as thoughtfully said by my old friend:

thinking of all those mums out there in heaven,

and all the chicks who aren't mums for whatever reason.

my friend

i feel incredibly honoured to call jenelle duncan my friend,

a deep friendship I will always treasure.

she was one of those rare people;

truly beautiful inside and out.

 

our friendship began when I was about 10.

we had neighbouring caravans during summer.

particularly in the next few years,

our families shared holidays, trips up to our farm;

motorbike riding, tractor rides, picnics in the bush,

horseriding, tadpoling, mushrooming.

 

when I moved to Melbourne in 1995,

jenelle + paul generously welcomed me into their hearts and home,

including me in their famous monday night family dinners,

their church, their friends, and even their basketball teams.

and when I started seeing stuart,

they extended that warm friendship to include him,

making us both feel so loved and accepted as a couple.

 

after their return some years later from the philippines,

i was thrilled she lived around the corner from us.

she would drop in for a coffee and a chat if she was driving past.

or kind of driving past.

or just somewhere in the general vicinity.

any excuse was enough for us, really!

we shared life together;

our troubles and our joys,

swapping advice and swapping recipes,

sharing meals and sharing many great times.

 

jenelle had a playful and cheeky nature,

always up for some fun and laughs.

i particularly treasure her love for my children,

especially when they were babies.

she couldn’t wait to get her hands on them as soon as they were born,

pulling funny faces at them to engage and connect.

she taught me how to get to their level and

to simply enjoy them.

 

she was a very thoughtful person.

her handwritten notes and cards were carefully considered and full of encouragement.

jenelle’s deep empathy and attentiveness to the needs of others

in the midst of her own trials was incredible.

she wanted to make her relationships meaningful.

she always had time to ask how I was travelling,

asking after my family and my friends,

my work and my interests.

 

in the last few years she was so very brave and courageous,

and mightily determined.

i was continually impressed and in awe of paul’s loving care

of his beloved wife and my dear friend.

 

as you know, I like designing and making my own clothes.

jenelle was always very encouraging of my efforts and

generous enough to even wear some of them!

she often made comments along the lines of “I think I should get a hobby”.

well, I don’t think she needed a hobby.

her hobby was People.

and she practiced her art to an exceptionally high standard.

i am proud to have witnessed the beautiful life tapestry she created.

 

oh, my jenelly.

i am going to miss you so very, very much.

i have a huge jenelle-shaped hole in my life.

 

know of our love + support

for paul + your three beautiful children.

 

too soon, my sweet.

 

to nest

pardon my absence for the past couple of weeks.

a spot of nesting is in the air.

no, no baby announcements here:

just searching for routine and rhythm;

back to work, school and kinder,

back to lessons and classes,

back to weekly menus and cooked meals,

back to order and structure.

back to normality.

and the realisation i am a lover of routine.

it fits. it forms. it frames.

phew! i thought i'd lost my head there for a while.

but no, that was summer holidays.

||

my life has been seriously. out. of. control.

last week, though, my stress-induced haze appears to have lifted somewhat. i'm not saying it is 100% under control but somewhat relieved. if nothing else.

and i am trying to claw back some balance. a little 'decluttering' of my headspace, if you will.

first priority is 'technology free days'. if it can't be 2 days, then at least one day, over the weekend. where i don't turn the computer on. if someone is desperate to reach me, they can call. or wait.

likewise email. i am working on not checking it every 2 minutes. aiming for 2 or 3 times a day only. still failing miserably but let's call it a work in progress. and like any good addiction, the recognition of my 'problem' is Step 1 in the battle! i am choosing to only answer urgent emails immediately. sometimes, allowing emails to 'wait' 24 hours either removes the pressure associated with it or eliminates the need to respond at all. and unsubscribing to a newsletters or updates which i don't get time to read anyway.

also my work methodology. the larger 'chunks' of work time i am committing to achieving larger 'chunks' of actual work. so, when i have 6 hours available, getting stuck in to some of my larger projects and turning off all other distractions (see email note above!). in my smaller allotments of time, i aim to answer those emails, make phonecalls, send faxes, etc.

and so far, so good. i have suddenly found my ability to concentrate again. and my motivation to exercise. and while i can hardly walk after the impromptu 7km run last friday evening, it feels SO good.

a standing ovation

i attended a truly memorable funeral yesterday;
incredibly personal, encouraging and surprisingly inspirational.

a thoughtful and gentle person,
she lived large in the love department.

with a powerful faith and gracious heart,
she did the little things big.

if i managed to leave even 10% of her legacy,
i would think 'job well done'.

with tears,
i stand and applaud your life.

the fringe

life is a little s t r e t c h e d here at the moment.

i survived the school holidays.
i should print a tshirt with that slogan.
i'm sure i would sell a truckload of them.

now a perfect storm
of design documentation is descending
a blur of work, work. and work.

add in the possibility of purchasing a new house.
oh, the possibilities! the planning! the logistics!

needless to say,
opportunities to dwell in the creative fringe
are scarce.

dear tom

i hope you will forgive me.

i received a parcel in the mail that was intended for you. but i couldn't wait for you to get home from school to make it with me. but it is hanging in your room if that is any consolation.

and i thought we could make one of these together instead.

perhaps after you play another game of Toobz on my phone.

oh, and i was so pleased you loved your Homage a Piet Mondrian class at Artplay on Sunday that i have booked you in for the Brack studio, too. i can't wait to see what you create.

do remind me to tell you about this. i was thinking we could squeeze it in around coffee here. what do you think? or would you prefer this?

anyway. must pull that tray of brownies out of the oven to cool while i walk up to school to collect you.

love you lots,

mumxx

the new

 
 
i have spent some time in our garden this last few days, trimming back the plants that have been scorched by our fierce summer heat. or parched from the lack of summer rain.

i find elements of this detritus incredibly beautiful. timeless.

but it has left me pondering my own detritus. my edges. my present parched creativity.

what do i need to trim back?

what do i need to discard?

what do i allow to fade away?

and what do i retain and regard as worthy patina?

each integral to enabling the new verdant growth; the new to emerge.

dark, dark days

as most people are aware, our state of victoria has been in the grip of the worst bushfires in history. australia's worst natural disaster ever. fullstop.

horrific loss of life. and it has not ended.

my immediate family are safe and relatively untouched.

however, our country and indeed our state is relatively small and interconnected. as the days drag on, i hear about more and more people i know or know of that have either lost everything or lost loved ones. and i think almost everyone in melbourne will know someone somehow affected.

my cousin was thankfully spared near flowerdale. she is now housing some of those who have lost everything.

my friend is working and encouraging others in the towns of alexandra and eildon and knows many who have lost everything in marysville. her own property at taggerty continues under fire threat.

another friend has been a volunteer fire fighter for the week. when we finally managed to catch him late monday afternoon, he had not slept for 4 days and didn't know what day it was.

a client was evacuated and has now returned home with her young family.

a close friend was seconded to kinglake to search for victims. things that break your heart.

a school parent is doing victim identification.

my mother's friend was in marysville for a weekend away and still missing.

a friend's uncle is missing from kinglake west.

another friend is suffering post traumatic stress from being on the edge of the bushfire and listening to the unfolding horror on fire radio scanners. things that should just never happen.

yet i know my story is not unique. it will be similar to many here in melbourne, in victoria, in australia. and like i said, i am not even directly connected to those who have lost so much. and suffered so much.

the tv and radio are constantly and endlessly broadcasting and repeating images and stories.

i feel like a voyeur, peering in to people's lives at their most vulnerable and broken.

i have turned it off. i already know too much. i hurt. my tears are quick.

i hurt for the victims.

i hurt for those who have lost everything including their families and communities.

i hurt for those fighting these fires. VOLUNTEERS!

i hurt for those involved in the investigation and identification of victims.

i hurt for those who are hurting.

there are no words to express the devestation and trauma all these people are going through and will continue to go through.

please give. in whatever way is most helpful and appropriate for you.

ps. check out this small respite from the devestation.

to a cool change

yep. another sunny day.

and while i like sunny days, it's the 5 days of 42+ degrees C (108F) that i am struggling with.

and the nights! 30 degrees overnight is just not on.

it is so hot that i can dry a load of washing on the line overnight.

you can burn yourself on playground equipment.

the bitumen roads are soft.

my growing tomatoes got sunburnt.

possums are literally dropping dead out of the trees (we have found 2 in tom's school yard).

this heat literally takes your breath away.

truly not the time to be sick with a sinus infection (me).

or tonsilitis (anais).

bring on autumn. please.